Time Heals All Wounds

Everyday I look at this scar that has been etched into my body and I'm reminded of the pain. The pain I endured before it, the pain during it, and the pain after it. I still remember it all as if it just happened yesterday. And although simply seeing it brings back a flood of memories, one thing it (thankfully) does not do is cause me to physically experience that type of pain again.

"Time heals all wounds"

Its been six months since I had the surgery that left this memorable scar, and while time did help in my healing process, can I just be real and say that time does not heal all wounds. Let me explain. . .

While time does play a part in healing (whether it be from the loss of a loved one, a breakup, or the betrayal of a friend or family member) it is not the only part.

When I experienced my very first breakup, I allowed seeds of bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment to take root in my heart. And, for the sake of "time heals all" I sat back and allowed those seeds to get watered for yearssss simply because I did not actively and purposefully work towards uprooting them from where they never should have been able to take root in the first place. I then unknowingly carried all of those feelings into my next relationship, because you know, time heals all right? I was good! Or so I thought. Until eventually God allowed all of those feelings to resurface just so I could see that I had not in fact healed like time suggested.

Now, every time I look at this scar, this battle wound of sorts, I'm reminded of how time does not heal all wounds. I'm reminded of how it may be powerful enough to re-shift your focus but not potent enough to erase your memory.

So, if time doesn't heal all wounds, then what does?

Prayer

I know it may sound cliche, but prayer really is the answer. Yes, it takes you putting in the work as well, but there is power in prayer. And there is power in going to God with our worries and cares and leaving them there. Philippians 4:6 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." God does not desire for us to live anxiously from day to day, He desires for us to have a peace that only He can give. Be open and honest with God about how you feel and the things you're still struggling with, and allow Him to help guide you through them. I really believe a lot of people (myself included) could have been healed a long time ago if they would have just communicated with God in prayer AND listened for His direction.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us --- whatever we ask --- we know that we have what we asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15

Being Intentional

You cannot heal from something you're not intentional about healing from. Healing doesn't just come to you, you have to reach out and grab it. Yes, you can grow and mature with time, but many of us have spent months and even years of our lives experiencing pain that could have been shortened if we would have just been intentional about truly healing from it -- instead of just sweeping it under the rug in hopes that it will go away. That being said, it's vital that you have people around you that can assist in your healing. Accountability is SO important. Whether through your peers or Biblical counseling, you need those people around you who will tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear. Those who align what they say with what the word of God says. People who push you to be better from the inside out, and not just superficially better. You know, looks good on the outside but a hot mess on the inside.

You're only as intentional as you want to be. And sometimes, that includes seeking out professional help if needed. Having people around you as accountability partners is great, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking additional help from trained professionals. Sometimes, you just need a new unbiased set of ears to listen and help you work through your problems. Don't let people trick you into believing that you are above getting professional help. If we didn't need any help outside of ourselves, there would be no need for doctors, teachers, pastors, and more importantly - Jesus.

Jesus didn't die on the

cross for us to walk through this life alone.

Forgiveness

The greatest and, in my opinion, hardest step to truly healing from pain is forgiveness. You cannot fully heal without proper forgiveness. And sometimes, the main person standing in need of our forgiveness is our own self. Sometimes we can be harder on ourselves than anyone else and forgiveness is needed in order to relieve ourselves of that burden. Forgiveness does not excuse the behavior or discredit how they made you feel, nor does it mean reconciliation is necessary, but it does free you from the bondage of bitterness and resentment. It frees you from allowing them to have control over your mind and heart. It frees you to move forward without being stuck in the past. It frees you to go out and live your best life. And, more times than not, while you're still dwelling on what happened, that person is not even thinking about it. They're sleeping fine every night while you're up all night tossing and turning when you don't have to be.

So, forgive no matter how bad they hurt you. Forgive whether they ask for it or not. Forgive even if you don't think they "deserve" it. Forgive even when you don't feel like it. Forgive even if it's not reciprocated. Forgive as if your life depends on it, because it does. If Jesus, the Son of God, can forgive the very ones who crucified him, then who are we to withhold forgiveness from anyone? (here are some scriptures on forgiveness: Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13, James 5:16).

Whatever it is that you're waiting for time to heal. Whatever it is that you've been allowing to secretly weigh you down. Whatever it is that you've been pretending to be over. Whatever situation it is that came to mind while reading this...pray, forgive, and be intentional about truly and completely healing from it and watch how God works. Time may not heal all wounds, but the Master of time is ready and willing to help you experience that true healing you've been longing for. He's ready, are you?

LaQuitia Thomas